The Beauty of Mediation

The beauty of mediation is that it permits the parties to exercise flexibility and creativity in crafting a settlement agreement that meets their needs.  Overall, the couple's community property should be divided equally.  This does not mean that each asset and each debt must be divided in half.  The overall division should be fair and equal, but how this is achieved can vary considerable from family to family.  Sometimes pensions are divided; sometimes the pension goes to the wage-earner, and assets of an equivalent value go to the other spouse.  The amount and duration of spousal support, if any, is variable, and depends on a number of factors which can be explored within the context of your specific situation.

Choosing Your Consulting Attorney for Mediation

Choosing your consulting attorney requires some care.  The best way is to schedule an informational interview with a mediation-friendly attorney.  If you choose an attorney who is primarily a litigator, he or she will probably steer you toward litigation.  Instead, look for an attorney who will support you in your desire to mediate your differences with your soon-to-be-ex; for one who understands mediation and favors a respectful, non-adversarial divorce process.

Self-Help Resources for Mediation Clients

There are many reputable self-help resources for divorcing couples available online.  Nolo.com publishes high-quality consumer-oriented books on divorce and mediation, and Mediate.com has a wealth of articles, some of which are written for consumers.  Divorcenet.com and DivorceHQ.com also publish information online.  One way to evaluate any online resource is to ask:  Does the advice make sense?  Does it conform generally to what the other experts are saying?

Building a Knowledge Base Prior to Divorce

Before the decision is made to definitely go ahead with a divorce, many potential mediation clients need information about the possible financial effects of divorce.  Some of the most common questions posed by prospective mediation participants are:

• Before I tell him/her I want a divorce, can you tell me what my rights are?
• Can I keep my retirement?
• Will I have to pay spousal support?
• What can we do about our house in a troubled market?

Divorce is a major life change.  Obtaining reliable information is critical.  However, mediators need to preserve their neutrality and cannot provide specific legal advice to one party, either before or during mediation.  Doing so would disqualify the mediator from providing mediation services at a later time.  To find out more about pre-divorce resources or to obtain a referral list of mediation-friendly attorneys, call Georgia Daniels at 626.441.1900.

Mediating A Parenting Plan

Through mediation, parents of minor children can provide a framework for their future positive interactions regarding their children.  Crafting a parenting plan, and making provisions for modifications of the plan as the children grow and change, is profoundly important.  If good parenting is soon as a paramount value, then providing for the continuity and support of the children is of utmost importance.  For a free consultation, call 626.441.1900

Listening and Communication

Mediation requires listening.  Many divorce mediation participants find that, through listening intently, they really hear their spouse's concerns, perhaps for the first time.  Deep, compassionate listening, in turn, can pave the way for agreement, and in many cases can yield fruit of the win-win variety, in which fair ad innovative solutions meed the needs of both parties.  Please call Georgia Daniels at 626.441.1900 for more information.

Mediation Is An Agreement-Reaching Process

Divorce mediation is an agreement-reaching process, in which the divorcing couple works with a trained neutral mediator, with the goal of reaching a settlement agreement covering all divorce issues:  parenting, property, and support.  Divorce mediation allows the couple to retain control over the terms and emotional tone of their divorce.  It is a client-centered, collaborative, and cooperative approach.  By choosing to retain control of their divorce, couples can maintain respect and dignity, and prepare for successful parenting in the post-divorce era.

Divorce and Personal Growth

How can divorce, which is often seen as a messy, unhappy process, ever offer possibilities for personal growth?  Divorce mediation can offer divorcing couples an array of possibilities for growth in listening, compassion, choice, and responsibility.  All of these can lead to desirable outcomes.  For more information, contact Georgia Daniels at 626.441.19.

Our House Is Underwater? What Are the Options?

Brainstorming possible options is a favorite pastime of mediators.  Even the most dire situations usually can produce several options for consideration.  Even when the choices are "bad", "less bad", and "maybe not quite so bad", there may be room to negotiate, combine options, or reconsider the facts.  There is no one-size-fits-all solution, so please call Georgia Daniels at 626.441.1900 to schedule a free consultation.

Mediation at Your Convenience

Your schedule is crazy-busy, so a free consultation can be scheduled at 5 P.M. or 6 P.M. on weekdays, or Saturday mornings between 9 A.M. and 1 P.M.  If we are a good fit to work together, we can meet as needed in the early evening or on Saturdays, and handle some parts of the mediation by phone, email, video, etc.  To schedule your consultation, please call 626.441.1900.

My spouse doesn't want to mediate - Part II

If your spouse initiates an adversarial process, even though you would prefer to mediate, you still have options.  You can consult with a mediator / conflict coach to focus o how you will use the process to your best advantage.  Using a mediation-based approach, you can be coached to frame positive responses to negative positions.  You can avoid needlessly escalating the conflict, and maintain a principled approach to obtaining a fair and lasting agreement.  For more information, call Georgia Daniels at 626.441.1900.

My spouse doesn't want to mediate - Part I

Mediation is a voluntary process, so no one can be forced to mediate.  However, a reluctant spouse can usually be persuaded, eventually, that it is in his or her best interest to mediate.  It takes time, and sometimes, more time.  It is not uncommon for one spouse to be ready to plunge ahead, and get everything settled, while the other spouse is not ready to even say the word "divorce".  Frequently, a no-obligation phone call with a mediator, to explain and de-mystify the process, is enough to encourage the reluctant spouse to meet in person with the mediator and the other party for a free consultation about mediation.  To schedule a free consultation with Georgia Daniels, please call 626.441.1900.