ELDER MEDIATION as MUSIC-MAKING

Elder mediation focuses on communication and problem-solving within a family or circle of friends who are concerned about the well-being of an elder.  Conflicts may arise between generations, such as between aging parents and their children, or between adult siblings if they slip back into their childhood roles and conflicts. 

Typical issues may include parents’ driving habits, whether more in-home care or assisted living is needed, or which sibling is responsible for what aspects of the parent’s care. Mediation can also address more complex issues such as estate planning and inheritance concerns, family business succession, and health care choices.  

Usually, the elder’s adult children or friends are quite clear that “something needs to be done” but how this “something” can be accomplished is less clear and can generate heated disagreement among those concerned.  Family members who are locked in ongoing conflicts may be unaware of elder mediation and its benefits. In addition, the spouse of the elder may be committed to maintaining the appearance that nothing is wrong.

The mediator is like an impartial musical conductor who sets up conversations, outlines some options, encourages creativity, and cues the participants when it is time to chime in.  The elder’s voice carries the melody.  Other parties support the melody by exploring options and adapting possibilities to fit their situation.  Together, everyone arrives at a final chord: a plan that describes what best meets the elder’s needs and satisfies concerned family and friends.

                                          

DIVORCE MEDIATION or LITIGATION: COMPARING COST and CONVENIENCE

                                                 

  COMPARING MEDIATION to LITIGATION

When couples are separating, money is usually tight for a while until the "new normal" kicks in.  You want the best possible process for all aspects of your divorce, but most likely, you don't have a small fortune spend.  For most people, a mediated divorce is more likely to be satisfactory to the parties than a litigated divorce, in terms of convenience, speed of resolution, control, and cost.

This chart compares the cost and convenience of divorce mediation  and divorce litigation in the Pasadena, CA area, as of Summer 2016.  Think about this:  when there are decisions at stake that may affect you for the rest of your life, do you really want low cost to be the primary focus of your mediation?  Experience, compassion, and convenience are important, too.  As your mediator, my goal is to provide excellent, personalized service at convenient times, while being mindful of your desire for a reasonable price.  The mediation fees indicated are in the range typical for Georgia Daniels, J.D., Mediator.  Other mediators' fees may be higher or lower.

	MEDIATION	LITIGATION
DAY or EVENING	Flexible; most weekday appointments start at 5:00 PM, 6:00 PM, 7:00 PM; Saturdays, 9:00 AM through 1:00 PM.	Court’s work-day is – 8 AM to 5 PM;  attorneys generally don't make appointments for 6:00 PM or Saturday morning
TIME TO RESOLVE YOUR CASE	Usually a few weeks to a few months; within your control	It can take months to get a court date for temporary orders; even longer for a full trial date
APPROACH	Respectful and collaborative, striving for win/win solutions	Adversarial;  winner / loser likely
DECISION MAKER	You (the parties)	The judge
CONTROL	You (the parties); mediator as moderator	The judge; lawyers
PROCESS	Informal and private	Formal and public
COST	Reasonable – the mediation fee depends upon the amount of mediator preparation required, the number of meetings required, the complexity of issues, and level of conflict between the parties.  See chart in following post. Reasonable is likely to be between $2,750 to $4,000 for the mediator's fee in most cases for a comprehensive divorce mediation, and somewhat more for the mediator’s fee in complex cases.  Please call 626-441-1900 for more detailed information on fees. Limited scope divorce mediation fees can be significantly less.  Please inquire. Other Family Mediation Fees Fees for pre-marital mediation, post-marital mediation, limited scope divorce mediation, and elder / adult sibling mediation are each different from the others.  Please call 626.441.1900 for more information.	Enormously expensive – Attorney fees can range from $15,000 to $75,000, or even more, depending upon the number of court appearances, amount of preparation, complexity, etc.

Please note that this chart addresses the fee for mediation or litigation only.  Other fees may include court filing fees, party response fees, experts such as appraisers or financial advisers, consulting attorneys for mediation, and document preparation fees for paralegals or legal document assistants. 

AS WAY OPENS -- CHANGE AND CONTINUITY in ELDER MEDIATION

ELDER MEDIATION -  Aging parents and their changing needs can trigger all kinds of conflict among adult siblings.  Mediation is forward-looking:  what does Mom need now?  Next year?

What happens when an adult sibling is sandwiched between care-giving responsibilities:  on one side, to an aging parent, and on the other, to a minor child?

Mediation is uniquely helpful in these situations.  Mediation is different from therapy: elder / adult family mediation is usually time-limited to a few sessions.  Keeping it simple is good.  Call 626.441.1900 for information.

This vista of rooms opening off rooms in a straight line into the distance (the future?) is from Chaco Canyon, New Mexico, a national historic site and world heritage treasure.